post graduation blues

I ate some rice pudding and thought of some constructive ways to get over it. And pondered on valuable life lessons.

Goodbye for now

I don't want to be too poor me about it, but I've run out of teaspoons. Quite aside from my usual mental health issues, I'm having some problems with my health (not serious, but still another thing) and there's a fair amount of turmoil happening in my emotional life as well.

On the other side of things, I haven't been paying as much attention to this blog as I wanted to, and it's just another thing to feel guilty about not doing. I'll be popping up to comment every so often. My twitter account may also go.

Lately, I've been feeling pretty disillusioned with everything. I don't know if it's post graduate blues or what, but I'm taking a little while to reevaluate and rest. And when I say 'rest' I mean 'work on projects I've been neglecting.'

So, see you all round.

Some Thoughts on Things

I have been a crap blogger lately. Mostly due to low mood and forgetting to take my medication. So here are some thoughts on things.

• David Mitchell writes in the Guardian about men's grooming. He does point out the privilege that men up until fairly recently have had "Ours will be the traumatised transitional generation of men: born into a cosy world where we were allowed, indeed supposed, to care less about our appearance than women – as secure in that as a Russian aristocrat in the obedience of his serfs." He also points out that "The convention that women should put on make-up, stress about not wearing the same dress as someone else and struggle womanfully against the signs of ageing, while men can scrub up merely by putting on a dark suit and dabbing at the dried gravy patches with some damp kitchen roll, is arbitrary. Men like me who say it's vain to try and look nice are hypocrites who care just as much about how they're perceived, only in a different way." And of course, being David Mitchell, he is writing for humour. But men should be allowed, as women should be, to get dressed 'nicely' without being judged for it. That should be self evident. But apparently it isn't, reading the comments.
  
• It sucks, trying to have feminist heroines. I used to love Germaine Greer. I read 'The Female Eunuch' at nineteen and it made me a feminist. I also loved that she seemed not to take herself too seriously. She was always appearing on panel shows like the bubble and never mind the buzzcocks. No ivory towers for her. Then I read this, by another one of my heroines, Kate Bornstein. And...no. Sorry, Ms. Greer. Transgendered people aren't 'ghastly parodies.' They're people. And anyone who thinks differently gets no support or admiration from me. It's not about cookies or proving that I'm a good ally. It's being a decent person. Something that Germaine Greer, for all that's she's done, seems to have failed at.
• I'm going to stop being so uptight about grammar on the interwebs. Because although I like it and am fond of it, I'm showing privilege. As this tumblr pointed out. (And you should read that tumblr anyway, because the...tumblrist is awesome. I wish I was that articulate at 19. ) I want to buy her a beverage of her choice.
• I have almost finished making a sweater out of 4ply on 3mm needles. FUCK YES.
  
• On Saturday I made cookies with oreos inside them. It was a comment on American Imperialism. Actually, no. They were delicious. DOES ANYONE WANT ANY.
• Sometimes it's best to shut up and listen.
• Mum, when a woman is smoking and wearing leopard print, I don't think that's playing into a stereotype. I think "There's a woman making her own choices about health and fashion." Which I am in support of, obvs. Also, I am buying a leopard print cardigan off TradeMe. And I like leopard print and red.
  
• I am very excited about the The Stroppery.
  
  

In which I rant about things

More angry than coherent.

Queen of Thorns wrote a post on abortion for The Standard, and got (basically) called a man hating baby murderer for her troubles. Boganette got called, I shit you not, a feminazi. Things degenerated fairly quickly, as they are wont to do when abortion gets mentioned.

My thoughts on the matter are as follows:

I'm glad to have Queen of Thorns and Boganette and Megan and all of the rest of my screeching angry feminazi harpies around. Because it's women (and sometimes men) who made the noise and got angry who changed things. People like QOT who put on their asbestos pants and wade into the fray and damn well got angry. People kept saying that by being loud and angry that they were damaging their 'cause'. Which is bullshit. If you believe in the rightness of any cause, then 'tone' is irrelevant. What seemed to be the general thrust of most of the comments is that "Since you were mean I now disagree with your cause." Which a bullshit statement.

And anyway, I -and almost every other feminist blogger I've encountered- are sick of being polite. Of sitting on our hands and smiling through gritted teeth as people bring up the same old shit again and again. Who claim that abortion isn't an issue that affects many people, and is a distraction from important issues, like the economy. Then have liberal dudebros complain that we're being 'anti-male'. Yeah. They'll let us have our say so long as we're sweet and polite to whatever condescending arse comes along.

Fuck. Fuck. A woman's right to decide what happens to her body isn't an important issue? That women who don't have the money are forced to go to two doctors (or more) to have an elective medical procedure? Weirdly, as a personal with both ADHD and bipolar, I've got a certain amount of privilege in this discussion. Not many people can argue against that me having a child would seriously damage my mental health. (Also, in a lesbian relationship. )

Then smug anti-choice people turned up and resorted to anecdata. And then complained about the feminazis. And accused us of bias. WHATEVS. Seriously. I'm not trying to convince you any more.





Icon made by user sinkandrise

Well-

Like, Boganette, I haven't posted anything since the Earthquake. For much the same reasons. I've only got one or two friends down there and they were all OK. I had no special emotional attachment to the place. But my heart breaks for all of those who did, and have lost friends and family, and those living in ruined homes, and those who've lost jobs. I'm a bit too jaded to talk about things like spirit and hope, because...such talk feels a bit hollow and a bit fake when I'm sitting here in my warm room in a complete house in a complete city. So, I'm donating what I can when I can and if they need volunteers here, I'll be able to lend a few hours.

Here, if you haven't seen it already, is a list of places you can donate.

What I was doing while the NZ Feminist Blog Sphere was imploding

Not much, as it turns out. If you're reading this blog, chances are that you are a New Zealand feminist and chances are you're on one or another side of the debate. What seems to have happened is that a somewhat WTF post was posted to The Hand Mirror. People were annoyed, and for good reason. QoT has some good posts on the whole shebang. I eventually lost track of the debate around the 30th comment on the original post.

Pretty much sums my reaction to that thread up. What Suffice to say people started to throw around some pretty derogatory langauge about people I respect and like, and that's not cool.
I'm not going to say 'why can't we all get along?' even though the conflict is fairly distressing. Once you start attacking people like that, it pretty much shows why we can't get along. Not all feminists are 'good people'.

There's still this idea, although somewhat unspoken, that there is a 'correct' way to present yourself as a feminist. Lipstick and well fitting clothes are 'incorrect.' The funny thing I've noticed about 'incorrect' feminists is that they are a lot more tolerant than the 'correct' ones. THIS IS JUST AN IMPRESSION OK.



Weirdly enough, this whole thing has made me think about my place vis a vis the rest of the feminist blogging sphere. I do tend to stick to the 'fluffier' side of things. Not because I don't care about or want to take action on the important issues, it's just that there are a lot of smart people (Craft is the new black, Boganette, Scuba Nurse, Ideologically Impure, Pickled Think, I am offended because etc) who say it better. I don't quite see the point of me writing another blog post agreeing with them when I could just leave a comment.

So I probably should warn you, then, that posting on this place is as likely to be about baking or knitting or clothes or geekery as it is about Important Feminist Issues. I'll try to comment more on other blogs, and do links round ups, but sometimes doing so can feeling a bit...circular. A feminist is what I am, but it isn't the be all and end all of me. Like QoT said,

"Sometimes I just want to have a fucking glass of cider with some friends, and talk shit about baking and weddings, and it’s really fucking awesome to be able to do that in a group where I am guaranteed not to encounter casual racism or homophobia or transphobia or classism or any other gratuitous exercise of privilege."

So maybe this blog is going to be more feminist-friendly than actually feminist. But then, it's run by a feminist so...who knows what that means. Honestly, it's not something I'm going to lose sleep over.

(I should also state that the Sherlock wtf am I reading macro was an icon made by the LJ user Woe in a Hoody)

Picard (and blogger) react to John Key's behavoir this week

So not only has our elected PM gone on a radio show with a convicted abuser, he's talked about which women he would bang. Really striking a blow for the dignity of the leader of NZ, mate.
This proves that he's a typical NZ bloke, and that's somehow important or indeed praiseworthy. It reminds me of how in l'ancien regieme, the well being of the country was inextricable linked to the number of heirs he sired, or really, the state of his genitals.

See, John Key wants us to know that his old fella's working fine, thanks. Despite the old ball and chain he still has an eye for a pretty lady, nudge wink snigger. Maybe he does find them genuinely attractive, but please, John, get back to running the country. I don't want to know who's on your 'fantasy' list. Because I suspect you're playing to some mythical ideal of blokieness that 'everyone' will like. You want to be the common man, while still living in a million dollar home.

While I'm talking about playing to the ideal of 'blokiness': PHIL GOFF CUT THAT SHIT RIGHT OUT. Just because John does it doesn't mean you have to, either. All you've done there is made yourself look utterly pathetic and isolated a whole bunch of your own base. *slow clap*

And then there's the whole 'mincing' business. Ha ha, John Key. Gay stereotypes are HILARIOUS. WHY. WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING. Again, it's tying into that bloke-y thing that you and Phil Goff keep playing into.

Also: "Prime-Mincer?" For fuck's sake. Phil Goff is the man sensitivity forgot. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS HUR-HUR BLOKE SHIT HAPPEN. And yeah, I do think it was a dog whistle. Mincer=not blokey, according to Mr. Goff. And when you use that as a way to put someone down, it shows what you think of people who do or are said to be that way. IE: Gay Men.

No, says Phil Goff. We need a MAN to run the country. MEN do NOT walk like that, no sir. John Key walking like THAT shows he is unfit to run the country. Here is a list of conventionally attractive women I would like to shag. Hur.

.....

Homophobic? Me?

See, you could have pointed out that John Key was playing to an offensive and outdated stereotype. You could have asked why, in this day and age, people do that and expect people to laugh. You could have given that incident the contempt it deserved. But no. You're just one of the boys, eh? Fuck you. I thought you would have known better.

Truth be told, I'm angrier at you than at John Key. Guess this means I will have to infiltrate the Greens and change their science policy after all.